Have you ever had one of those ...moments?
Carl Jung, upon being asked by James Joyce to explain the difference between Joyce's mind versus that of his schizophrenic daughter, replied:"She falls. You jump."
I had thought that spiritual awakening was like gaining new knowledge. No, it's more like finding a door in your house which you'd never noticed before. But there is a deep rumbling sound coming from the other side. You open it onto a deafening roar and get a glimpse of a misty blue rotating tunnel threaded with giant lightning and yard-thick shattered trees. A flattened pickup truck drifts by, bends strangely, and then bursts into a million spinning fragments.
Perceiving the world without psychological defenses is trivial, anyone can do it easily. We all do it 100% of the time as children. We only stop doing it when we choose to perform small, petty, selfish acts. As my daughter grows up I watch her doing this. She cannot stand to remember or take responsibility for her "bad" choices, so she commits an intentional act; she cultivates intentional blindness. She is changing from an intense, creative, weird and joyful child into a boring and normal adult. To cover her ass in her own eyes, she is painting the windows of her world with black paint.
Sickness will surely take the mind
The great secret is something quite simple. It's just honesty. No, you don't understand, I mean *honesty.* No, not that, but instead REAL honesty. No, ***HONESTY***. I mean stopping the flow of justifications, ego-protections, convenient redefinitions, distortions, etc. etc. etc. Don't lie in order to protect yourself from seeing inconvenient truths. The weird thing is... once you stop your "stream of BS-consciousness", you gain the ability to sporadically listen in on the hidden BS-streams of other minds. And it's not pretty. What's also strange: I've noticed that certain people seem to *know* that you get glimpses of their hidden bullshit streams, and the minute they meet you for the very first time they deeply hate you for it.
"I never gave them hell. I just tell the truth, and they think it is hell." Harry S. Truman
"Do you know why we lie about the truth?
I look within myself and I notice that I am a coward. An advanced-level coward with decades of field experience. When the time comes to run away, I'll be at the front of the charge, AHEAD of all the second-rate cowards. Also, I notice that I've developed extremely subtle and advanced techniques of the straight-A student and "Teachers Pet;" developed for the ass-kissing of authority figures in academia. I'm like those highly trained Ninja assasins with a thousand lethal weapons even when unarmed. ...but all mine are devoted to brown-nosing. When I see a teacher or boss watching me, I do many subtle things to manipulate that person into liking me. Over the decades I've polished the subtle art of Brown Nosing Coward to near perfection. It's Eastern Mystical Brown-nosing, where we train ourselves to make authority figures love us... from fifty feet away while barely moving a muscle. I notice my skill at philosophically-recursive brown-nosing, where I can make teachers like me by (heh) describing the details of all my subtle ass-kissing strategies with open honesty. Or what about Multi-level Self-referential Brown-nosing, where I write the above paragraph describing my descriptions of brown nosing, all in an attempt to fool *you* into liking me? It may or may not work, but don't lose sight of the Primary Coward who sits deep inside, safely watching.
I've been watching myself. I watch myself for every second of my life, for every waking moment. Sometimes I notice the process. I watch myself watching. Lately I've more and more frequently been watching myself watching myself watching. I suspect that the Watcher is about to experience similarly iterated selfreferentiality in exponentially decreasing time slices and pass a singular event.
Real human beings are gods, yet we wear masks of profound limitation. Our masks are our entire personalities; everything we think we are, and they're artificial constructs. Our real selves are something behind the masks. However, our masks also are honored possessions, like beloved pets, or like a favorite and well-loved doll which a little girl has made with her own hands. Our 'Selves' also have been given independent life, and they have a chance of becoming gods on their own. The Tibeteans call them "Tulpas", which refers to artificial poltergeists which they create during a long ceremony. But what nobody realizes is that human beings are the same thing. We're animal bodies which are operated by tulpas. You and I are tulpas, we are poltergeists, we are artificial constructions built by the vast inhuman things which form our true nature. But there is a piece of information missing. Those vast inhuman things? THEY LOVE US. Love of such purity that you just can't believe it unless you've experienced it directly. All the gigantic things, one inside each of us, they are all connected together deeply and totally, so there is no reason to pretend that there is more than one of them in there. We've been calling it "god," but that's a very misleading term, carrying all sorts of negative connotations. "God" is the totally wrong track. This has nothing to do with god. Rather call it "the vast inhuman thing at the core of your being to which your whole life is but a beloved evanescent curio."
Are you less than half alive? Has the intensely piercing sweet sadness of your brief existence been numbed beneath years of internal gray voices? Abandon ye all pretense of hipness and try some of McLean's Vincent (yt vid) (lyrics)
"THE FORCE is a sort of invisible energy field generated by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us, and binds the universe together. It controls our actions, yet it obeys our will." - No, not said to Luke Skywalker by Obiwan Kenobi in the first Star Wars movie. Instead, said by the shaman Don Juan Matus, speaking to Carlos Casteneda circa 1970
The Sound of One Code Crashing
I hear people humming to themselves under their breath as they walk to work, but it's rare. Even more rare is someone actually whistling. Now imagine singing right out loud! The men in white coats would come and haul you away. Yet such things were common in the age before television. Back then no one could compare their singing voices to those of the world-class experts, and thus feel ashamed to make a sound. I love to try embarassing experiments just to see what happens. Unfortunately it seems to frighten the normal people, so I've only dared do it a couple of times in the distant past. But driving out on I-5, that's different. Here are more suggestions
So you want to be a teacher? Then start teaching right this instant, no degree required. But how could anyone dare do this? Simple. One of the great secrets of life is that, regardless of somebody's immense and impressive level of accomplishment, we're all of us nothing but KINDERGARTENERS. But some of the kindergarten students have decided to lend a hand to the infants and preschoolers.
Insanity is a hole into the other world, and waiting on the other side of that hole is something huge; something which looks for people who would volunteer to be "Jesus." As a result, those who wander away from the physical/material world will often fall into delusions of grandeur, and fancy that God has chosen them to be the next Messiah. But... they speak the truth! Something out there HAS nominated them for this task. Unfortunately their own self-sabotage and hidden "demons of the ID" wreck everything, because this new Jesus cannot stand to confront his or her own flaws. And so they desperately close their eyes, descend into denial and the madness of personality fragmentation, and try to convince themselves that they *already* have succeeded in becoming the messiah who is saving mankind.
Terrifying because of the attendant responsibility attends with the following:
We contain more than we've ever thought; we are far greater than our ideas can comprehend. When a difficulty pushes us to the edge of what we've known about ourselves, we can fall off or expand our borders. If we choose the latter, we discover we are bigger than the problem confronting us. And we learn that every challenge contains the gift of greater knowing. - Rev. Mary Mannin Morrissey
WHEN I DIE...
Kurt Vonnegut teaches us one of the secrets of life.
I'm not special. All the stuff I am teaching myself to do.. can be done by ANYONE. I'm no straight-A student. Never climbed to the pinnacle of a career. Spent way too much time reading comic books. Mostly, I read a huge number of books both on science and on various religious teachers and "cults." Buried among the strange stories are things that ring true, that appeal to intuition. There are even obvious things like: competition in school really sucks... so stop participating. Things like... if you are disgusted by something that people do, then start watching yourself carefully, and if you discover that YOU also do it... then cut it out. Simple kindegarten ethics. Or this one: in any group, start looking for unnecessary silence, for the little things that everyone is thinking, but that nobody ever talks about. Then try talking about them, see what happens.
"With great power comes great responsibility." - Spiderman
Teacher to Student: Oh, so you think you're so smart. Let's see you repeat that performance again without help. Go back in again. But this time... NO MENTORS. Heh heh heh.
* artistic production * * Acting from the central Creative source, no plans are made. Actions * * simply take place, with streams of unlikely coincidence supporting a * * positive outcome which seems impossible. But more commonly the * * conscious mind tries to take control and to guarantee a safely * * positive outcome for which it can take all the credit. But in that * * case subconscious anticreative forces easily detect the plans and * * usurp control, bringing about an opposite result. Call it self- * * sabotage, or bad luck, or listening the voices of temptation. The * * failure remains the same. Hence, make no plans. Just play the * * music, and the Music will start to play YOU. *
Catholics versus CarlosSpiritual growth is a path of liveliness, not blandness. It's a Gandhi speech, or Jesus tearing up the sellers' tables in the Temple. It's NOT a bunch of people walking around with fixed smiles, with their egos "suppressed." Actually, it's impossible to suppress ego under normal conditions. Enlightenment consists of uniting with your dark disturbing egotist side and flooding it with light (that's why it's called enlightenment, after all.) Don't attack it and make it your enemy. Reclaim it and turn it into your most powerful ally, tool, and friend. But ego suppressed is ego enhanced, it grows like fungus covered up in darkness. Anger suppressed is anger that festers and expands like a fire burning inside the ceiling of your house. Suddenly the blazing hot ceiling collapses upon you. We cannot eliminate these fires by smashing them down, since that just makes them larger, yet hidden and distorted. Some other method is needed.
The ego is like a dog, like a beautiful purebred hunting dog.
It is meant to run free, but you the owner puts it in a cage.
The cage is made small, then smaller, and soon the dog is covered
with its own filth, with matted hair bare in spots, and with a
personality that becomes nastier and nastier. Then along comes
eastern religion, and the owner decides that the dog is evil (after
all, it's covered with sticky black sewage and snaps at everything
around it,) and decides that the dog must be muzzled, then tied up,
and finally killed. But the dog... IT CAN'T DIE.
It can only be tortured. Hurt and hurt for years upon years.
It was supposed to be your beloved friend and helper. You should be ashamed. Look what you did to the poor little thing. What *I* did. It's calling out to us in its isolation and pain right now. How will we respond? April 2004
Go listen to Puff the Magic Dragon a few times. Is there somebody inside yourself awaiting your notice? A puppy's tail pounds, yet the Earth shakes.
WHAT IS 'EVIL?'