Van Gogh killed himself...
but I won't, and neither will you

Why was Vincent's death a mistake? Simple. SUICIDE DOESN'T WORK. What if you used a razor blade? How would you like to be outside your own body after all your blood has drained onto the floor of your car. But you need to get back in! Yet the body is as cold and hard as clay, and heavy as a billion tons of soft lead. What now? Scream? Run all over the place? I've been there, that doesn't work either: I experienced my brother's suicide in a stunning dream. For me, intentionally killing either yourself or another under any circumstances whatsoever is unthinkable.

The way to escape horrendous pain or gigantic sorrow is to look at the things you can't stand to see, and listen to the things you can't stand to hear. Pain is not an evil that we need to escape. The pain of forcibly healing an infected wound is the largest imaginable, but it is pure good. The pain of looking inside and seeing horrors there is the same: it's GOOD. And sorrow is not something to avoid, because mourning delayed is mourning enlarged. Light and dark, joy and suffering. We get to choose which kind of joy and which kind of suffering we experience. But we must not choose joy without suffering, or choose suffering without joy. Both of these are evil choices.

If pain, suffering, sorrow, etc. are not evil, then what IS evil? Simple. Evil is the dishonest distortion of reality. The two halves of reality are darkness and light, suffering and joy, death and life. Neither side is bad or good. But if we PRETEND to end suffering, sorrow, pain, and death by covering them up with make-up, by smashing them down and nervously declaring them ended, then we commit an evil act, and we ourselves grow more and more evil as we try to maintain the facade. We turn ourselves into intentional sowers of confusion, into the People of the Lie.

So if your life is all joy and love and happiness, and you fly into a rage when you encounter the darker side... then it's time to give up your evil ways. Drop your false facade of happiness. Dive into suffering for awhile. Or if your entire life is Darkness, and you sneer at joy and love... then your power is failing, you've become a weak, evil Dark rather than just Dark. It's time for some joy.

McLean's Vincent (youtube)


More suffering:

Lyrics to Un Bel Di

the Music

the Story

Enough of sweet suicide tunes. Try some of the exact opposite: JOY!

Ghostbusters II: higher and higher , Jackie Wilson

I can see clearly now from TB2000, Jimmy Cliff

I NEED MORE JOY! Lots more. Suggestions?

Created and maintained by Bill Beaty. Mail me at: .